MALES will go to extreme lengths to get females, but playing dead might not seem like an obvious strategy. Some male nursery web spiders, however, regularly feign death, and those that do are more likely to mate.Trine Bilde of the University of Aarhus, Denmark, and colleagues set up encounters between male and female Pisaura mirabilis spiders. Males of the species present a food gift to prospective mates, with some males playing dead by stretching out their bodies and remaining motionless while holding the gift in their mouths. The female spider investigates and takes hold of the food gift, sometimes dragging the male around. At this point the "dead" male comes to life and manoeuvres into the copulation position. Eighty-nine per cent of males that played dead achieved copulation, whereas just 40 per cent of males that did not adopt this behaviour were successful (Behavioral Ecology, DOI: 10.1093/beheco/arm165). Males that played dead also enjoyed longer copulations than males that did not, and were thus able to fertilise more eggs.While playing dead is an anti-predator defence in many animals, its use as a strategy to obtain sex has not been seen before. "This apparent anti-predator behaviour has evolved into an adaptive mating strategy," says Bilde.From issue 2645 of New Scientist magazine, 27 February 2008, page 19

Damn!I always thought that begging was the way to sexual nirvana.

The other night, I was out for a beer or two and I realized that I really lack the charm it takes to get lucky. I'm too freaking old and bitter for any of that poppycock.

Besides, playing dead makes spiders get luckier and last longer and I'll try everything once.
Unless it involves car batteries and nipple clamps.

As it was getting late, I drank my last gulp of beer and lay (forgive the pun) down on the floor. I stayed very very still. I held my breath a little bit as well, but none of the women seemed impressed.

A few of them even stepped on me, others stepped over me. I've been walked all over by women in my past, just not literally.

A waitress called 911 I guess, because the first thing i knew, I was in the back of an ambulance with an oxygen mask on.

The EMT was sort of hot though, I think she wanted me. The night wasn't a total waste, because it's not every night a hot chick throws an oxygen mask on you.I always tell women that as long as they stay totally still they won't feel a thing but that never seems to be a deal closer for some reason.

What can be hotter to a woman than a guy with a good case of rigor mortis? I mean, no man is stiffer.

Talk about dying to get laid!

Man dies after cake-eating contest: officials Mon Feb 25, 7:47 AM

LONDON (AFP)- A man has died after taking part in a competition to see how many cup cakes he could eat at once, officials said Monday.

Paramedics were called to revive Adam Deeley, 34, after receiving a call saying he was choking at a cafe in Swansea, south Wales, in the early hours of Friday but could not save him and he died in hospital.

He had reportedly been attending a party to raise funds for an exhibition by a local artist.

"Quite a spread had been laid on and when the party finished in the early hours, there was quite a lot left over," an unnamed witness told the Sun newspaper.

"Someone suggested seeing how quickly they could eat the mound of fairy cakes that were left. But suddenly, someone started choking."

The paper reported that five cakes got stuck in Deeley's throat, although police say they are still investigating the cause of the death.

Inspector Paul McCarthy said: "The issue concerning cakes is something we are looking at as a contributory factor in his passing."

In a statement, cafe owners Amanda Davey and Paul Dyke said: "It was a tragic accident and very sad and should serve as a cautionary tale."

The Welsh Ambulance Service said it attended "after receiving a report a man was choking".

The local coroner will open an investigation into the death in the coming days.
Source : AFP

Death is not funny, but ...........

Let me get this straight?

A British chap shoves five cupcakes down his gullet and dies? That's hilarious!

It's nice to know that in Britain, it's just like everywhere else, that guys die doing stupid things to impress their friends, with their last words generally being something along the lines of "Hey guys, watch this!"

I mean could no one drop one of their cupcakes long enough to administer some CPR to that dummy? Was that frosting just so irresistible?

They must have been some damn good cupcakes! Cupcakes 'to die for' some might say.

The article notes that there was a lot of food left over at the cafe, and I think that the muffin choker would be saddest at that because he was trying to eat it all himself.

What are they going to write down as a cause of death on his death cerficate? Death by Muffin?

What are they going to say at the funeral? He was a good chap and he's in a lighter, fluffier place?

I mean do they have a heaven for Betty Crocker fans? Are the streets lined with Dunkin' Donuts outlets in Betty Crocker heaven?

Britain's Prime Minister Gordon Brown, alarmed at the prospect of widespread muffin choking breaking out, has called in the big guns to save lives.

You know him as Gingy from the Shrek Movies.

In October, 1967, Johnny Cash crawled into Nickajack Cave to die.
Ten years of drug and alcohol addiction had taken their toll. Cash went as far into the cave as he could go, until his flashlight died and he was exhausted. Then he stopped in the darkness and waited for death to come.

After a while, he felt God's presence, and he realized his destiny wasn't in his hands so he somehow found his way out.

When he emerged from the cave, dirty and tired, June Carter Cash was waiting for him.
The next 32 days consisted of June Carter Cash and her family watching over him, while he went through painful withdrawals from years of addiction.

She was the only one stubborn enough and in love enough not to give up on him.
"She was such a rock for Johnny, and I think the world saw that, her strength was immeasurable. They were meant to be together.''Friend Jeff Hanna of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
They first met each other in 1956, backstage at the Grand Ole Opry. June was touring with Elvis at the time.

"Then, one night backstage at the Opry, this man walked up to me and said, 'I want to meet you, I'm Johnny Cash.' And I said, 'Well I oughta know who you are. Elvis can't even tune his guitar unless he goes, "Everybody knows where you go when the sun goes down." June on first hearing Johnny Cash

By 1961, Johnny had hired Carter and her family to tour with him.
"When June Carter and the Carter Family came along on the tours, Johnny hired the entire Carter Family. Of course, he and June started lookin at each other across the microphone. The sparks were definitely starting to heat up. That whole thing started right there, and from there on there was no other girl singer on his shows. It overwhelmed everybody. Gordon Terry and I could see it coming on. We would look at each other, shake our heads and say, "This thing is coming on like a truckload of turkeys." You just knew."Johnny Western

In 1968, after his persistent proposals, June finally accepted and they were married. It was 12 years after they first met."Backstage at the Grand Ole Opry, I got on my knees and told her that I was going to marry her some day. We were both married to someone else at the time. 'Ring Of Fire'—June and Merle Kilgore wrote that song for me-that's the way our love affair was. We fell madly in love and we worked together all the time, toured together all the time, and when the tour was over we both had to go home to other people. It hurt."Johnny Cash

They had their first and only child together in 1970, and named him John Carter Cash

He got his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1976

They got performed together, and they got old together.

"We're soul mates, friends and lovers and everything else that makes a happy marriage. Our hearts are attuned to each other, and we're very close. I'll get up every morning at five o'clock and make the coffee, then start pacing the floor, wanting her to get up. But I'll let her sleep for a couple of more hours. If she smells the coffee, she's up."Johnny Cash about June Carter
In an earlier interview with Rolling Stone, Cash said that he and June had an unconditional love for each other.

"You hear that phrase a lot, but it's real with me and her. She loves me in spite of everything, in spite of myself. She has saved my life more than once," he said. "She's always been there with her love, and it has certainly made me forget the pain for a long time, many times. When it gets dark, and everybody's gone home and the lights are turned off, it's just me and her." Johnny Cash in Rolling Stone Magazine

June Carter Cash died on May 15th 2003, at the age of 73, following complications from heart valve replacement surgery. They had been married for 35 years.

"What June did for me was post signs along the way, lift me up when I was weak, encourage me when I was discouraged, and love me when I felt alone and unlovable. She's the greatest woman I have ever known. Nobody else, except my mother, comes close." Johnny Cash in his autobiography

"I can't envision living without her. I can't envision another woman in this house. The lady of the house is her spot. She's always been there, and she's dependable, trustworthy, loyal, kind and cheerful — all of the parts of the Boy Scouts."Johnny Cash about June Carter
Johnny Cash died a few months later on September 11th, 2003. He was 71.

"He told me after my mother passed away, "Your mother and I were more in love when she passed away than we ever have been." That love grew in great leaps and bounds. They were real. My parents were real people. They didn't put on airs or false faces. They were what they were."John Carter Cash

Why MySpace Parties Are A Bad Idea

For men, a lot of our thoughts and hopes revolve around getting laid.

Some guys have enough going for them they can get laid by meeting people in traditional ways.

Some guys can't, and have to fabricate persona's and run super blogs on MySpace.

If you are smart enough to outwit a bunch of women by being a jerk and then win them over by saying what a jerk you are, then all the power to you.

If you can brainwash women into believing you're a tortured soul who just can't love enough, go for it.

The part that bothers me is when people get hurt because I feel responsible. I feel that when I stand by and let stuff like happen because of my inaction, I am to some extent responsible.

I've been online for a long time now and I've seen a lot of stuff.

Why I'm writing this is because I've been to two online parties.

And I think they're stupid, and dangerous.

People online for the most part are more unhappy, and crazier than the general population.
Some of us come on MySpace for an escape to get away from our lives. Some of us come here out of boredom. Some people come here because they're predators.

You mix all the unhappy people with the people who prey upon these people, and stuff gets ugly.
The parties I've been too have the following :

1) Middle aged men and women who feel old and want to be 18 again. Drinking and screwing and acting like retards all night.
2) A lot of sex. These things are meat markets.
3) A lot of people who have been marginalized by society and broken by life complimenting each other on their persona's because lets be honest, none of them really know each other.
It's because those parties are a lot like MySpace. You can get away with pretty much anything with little or no consequences. People do things they never thought they would do online, and then at parties.

I remember getting hugged and adored at one party like I was some sort of a rock star and it's basically because I goof around and have fun online. I'm nothing like that though. So what's the point of worshipping our persona's and our blogs in real life?

It's an internet illusion. The top bloggers are no better writers, or no better people than the rest of us. They're just more desperate for the attention.

They're just more dedicated to figuring out how the fuck to get ranked around here.

That's all the real difference is. Why should anyone really be star struck by someone because they crank out 5 shitty blogs a week on MySpace?

Is the curiosity factor really worth it?

The thing that hurt me most was at one party I went to, I met a woman who I'd talked to once or twice and she was a lot more interested in me than I was in her.

I think she may have had halitosis.

I was polite, and I talked to her for a bit.Then I went and spent time with people I knew better and was more curious about.

When the party was over she told all her friends that we were really close and that I had made a pass at her. I'd spent maybe five minutes with her total, trying to be nice.

So basically for the next six months I had to listen to how I didn't like her because she turned me down.

I had to listen to all the little online people tell me how I just couldn't take being shot down.

I can understand that you are curious about the bloggers because you read their blogs and want to meet them.

I can understand that you have friends from Imz and you'd like to get together to have a few drinks.

I do too.

But it's not worth it to me to fly across the country to meet some fellow crazy people from the internet for a drink.

In Canada, we have things called bars, where people are always drinking and meeting and talking.

And it's a lot less risky than going to New York.

Is Religious Tolerance Dead On MySpace?

I don't care if you believe in God or not.

I don't care if you're agnostic, atheist, or think you might be God sometimes.
That's not what this is about.

Frankly, the whole argument about whether God exists or not is pointless because an argument has never changed anyone's mind about anything.

Our beliefs are a result of our experiences. Nothing I say is going to change your mind either way so I won't bother trying.

This is about the fact that religious tolerance and respect has gone out the window.

Why is that?I've seen a lot of stupid stuff on MySpace and I've sort of kept my mouth shut about it because it's really not my favorite battle.

But enough is enough.

I've seen stupid caveman assholes declare themselves 'god' of MySpace, and write a big blog about how there is no god ... at Christmas. Why wouldn't you put that out in May? Because it wouldn't annoy anyone then, that's why.

I've seen people hack on X-Hooker Annie Lobert and I really suspect it's because she makes no apologies for believing in God.

I've seen blogs about Easter with Jesus on a cross with the title "Jesus, Just Hanging Around"
Doctor Nicole or whatever her name of the day is now, and Mish The Martini Man did a blog that was "Jesus Says" which was basically unfunny and offensive trash.

How many idiots have Jesus avatars? How many Jesus with a bong avatars are there out there?

How many bloggers out there just blog about how stupid people are who believe in God and why there can't be a god? A handful of them, at least.

People know how offensive it is, and that's why they do it.

It's unacceptable because our culture is built on principles of freedom and religious tolerance and there just isn't any religious tolerance out there when it comes to Christianity.

Part of this I believe is because people have had bad experiences with Christians in the past. We all have.

There are a lot of really lousy, judgmental Christians out there.

But God isn't a Christian.

How difficult is it to piss a baby Christian off anyway?

Make fun of all they believe in and they tend to go off. It's pretty predictable. I used to do it all the time, I'd go to Christian chat rooms with my Harry Potter screen name and people would freak out and condemn me to Hell.

And I'm more than likely headed there because I'm a self admitted asshole.

But it's not because God is sending me there, it's because I'm sending myself there with my thoughts and actions.

If you don't believe in God, that's fine, if you're not sure, that's fine. I can care less. I'm not Billy Graham, I'm not even all that nice and I couldn't care about anyone's eternal soul to save my own.

I don't even consider myself a Christian.

But I'm tired of all the stupid jokes, and snide comments about people who do believe in God.

And I think religious tolerance on MySpace is dead.

WHO WHACKED CRABBY? A MYSPACE MYSTERY

MYSPACE SPECIAL INVESTIGATIONS UNIT

CRIME REPORT

RE : Crabbyoldgeezer's Murder Most Foul

On the evening of Thursday, January 24th, 2008, at approximately 10:21 Eastern Standard Time, the victim was posting a witty comment on his friends blog.

This was when the victim, one "Crabbyoldgeezer" learned he had only moments left in which to post a bulletin before evaporating into the eternal cybermist of those MySpacers who have been eliminated before.

"I realized I had been deleted, and i was shocked" The victim said. "I've never been deleted before, so I had no clue who could have done such a horrible thing to me."

The list of possible perpetrators of the crime is lengthly. We have managed to narrow the list down to the following suspects.

LEE HARVEY OSWALD - Likely funded by Castro. Could have been motivated by recent comments made about communists.

JIM HENSON AND THE MUPPET MAFIA - Henson has been known to loose his innocent looking, but fully evil Muppets to wreak havoc on unsuspecting victims. Maybe Crabby got in the way of some nefarious plan?

THE BODY SNATCHERS - This alien invasive species is mostly plant based. They're all about conformity and Crabby doesn't fit in. Or sleep. Maybe they needed him out of the way?

THE ILLUMINATI - Perhaps Crabby stood in between them and their plans to introduce a 'One World System of Government' and new world order. Crabby is a pain in the ass to many, perhaps this organization acted from it's shadowy headquarters.

SATAN - Tortures souls for eternity. Anxiously awaiting Crabby's presence. Gives people ideas for sudafed blogs. Maybe he just couldn't wait for his prized second in command Crabby?

HEATH LEDGER - Not a big Crabby fan. Apparently he didn't kill himself. He just took as many pills and possibly booze and narcotics as he could and then 'accidentally' quit breathing at 28 years of age. Must have been how he slept. Crabby's bad.

THE MEN IN BLACK - Maybe Crabby's shitty UFO blog got people asking too many questions and this ultra secretive branch of the U.S. Government acted so as to keep the truth a secret after 50 years of cover ups?

ADRIANNE BRADY - Talentless, Obnoxious, Irritating. And that's just Crabby. Perhaps this nude star of women's prisons everywhere put in a call to her friend Tom and had Crabby rubbed out. But why wouldn't she like Crabby? It's unlikely she'd have the slightest problem with everyone's favorite old guy.

WHO DO YOU THINK WHACKED CRABBY?

Heroes Deserve Our Grief. Cowards Don't

We hear about Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, and now Heath Ledger who have engaged in self-destructive behavior, even though they've been given everything.

Add to that Chris Farley, John Belushi, and any other man who has succumbed to his own demons.

Suicide is wrong. No matter how much it is romanticized by the culture we live in, it's a cowards way out.

The amount of coverage from the media and adoration from the public far surpasses their actual worth.

There are real heroes in this world, and they die each day. But we don't hear about them. We don't grieve them the same way. They are brushed aside and forgotten.

I remember the day I heard about Jason Dunham. The story sent a chill up my spine, and I have never forgotten his story from a few years ago.

On April 14, 2004, 3 days after Easter Sunday, Corporal Dunham was manning a checkpoint in Karabilah, Iraq, when an insurgent leapt from his car and began choking Corporal Dunham. A scuffle ensued as two Marines approached to help. Reportedly, the last words from Corporal Dunham were, "No, No. Watch his hand." Suddenly, the insurgent dropped a grenade. Corporal Dunham took off his Kevlar helmet, dropped to the ground, and covered the explosive as best he could.

The blast seriously wounded all 3 Marines. Eight days later, Corporal Jason L. Dunham died at Bethesda Naval Hospital from wounds he received in the incident. He was 22.

Corporal Dunham made the ultimate sacrifice, and in doing so saved the lives of his fellow Marines. Due to his actions on that fateful day, Corporal Dunham has been awarded the Medal of Honor.

From http://www.jasonsmemorial.org/about.html

Jason Dunham 1981-2004

I just can't forget what he did.

He gave his life for his friends. Everything he was and could have been is gone because he sacrificed his life for you and for me.

The price of our freedom has always been the blood of heroes.

The men and women in Iraq and Afganistan and whatever other hellhole we send them to are true heroes.

The ones who sacrifice their lives to serve. The ones who leave their families behind and go to keep us save and don't make millions of dollars or star on horrible reality shows.

The ones who don't want money, fame, or even a thank you, they just want to go home to the ones they love in one piece.

The ones who die and want nothing more to live.

The ones who don't throw it away.

They are the ones who should never be forgotten.